I know I am more irritable since about day 75 of quarantine life.
The SITUATION (like the guy on Jersey Shore, haha): It was Sunday morning and I was on the couch enjoying my hot morning coffee. My husband went upstairs and got Milo around 7:30am. They sat together on the other couch. Milo was drinking his bottle and my husband had his coffee. Ah, so peaceful. So lovely. After about three minutes of this enjoyable moment, Milo put his bottle right in my husbands coffee mug. It fit perfectly, of course. Right away my husband looked at me and said “babe, can you go grab some paper towel?” Now, usually I would jump up, go get paper towel and help clean up. But, out of nowhere, I just said “no.” LOL. My husband looked shocked and I think he said something like “are you serious?” And, I said “Yes! Just grab some kleenex. It is right beside you.” And, began my rant. I said something along the lines of…
“I am home alone with Milo 5 out of 7 days. I deal with these situations on my own all day. So, I find myself getting irritated when we’re both home and something happens and you instantly ask for my help. Because, I know you can deal with it on your own but, because I’m here it’s easy to just ask me for help. I don’t mind helping but, I want you to understand the kinds of things I deal with all day, on my own. For example, when you change Milo’s diaper and it’s a big poop and he’s squirming around, you always say ‘Babe, can you come here for a second?’ And, I always go and help. But, in the back of my mind, I’m irritated because I have to do this on my own all the time.”
I am happy I brought this up today. While I understand why he is asking for help, I also want him to experience what I deal with all day. It’s one thing to explain to someone what you do all day but, I think it hits a little different when they experience it themselves. Another situation that I can think of is when we are outside with Milo on the front porch and he throws his toys down the stairs and onto the driveway. I specifically remember this happening and my husband asking me to go get the toy. I went and got it but, in the back of my mind I was like “DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY GOD DAMN TIMES I LUG MILO DOWN THOSE STAIRS TO GO GET THE TOYS AND LUG HIM BACK UP?” Whilst sweating my ass off. I would get great pleasure out of watching my husband do this. And, maybe that makes me sick in the head because I want him to suffer too. I mean, I love him but, this is how I feel.
Quarantine has been really hard for me and I have an insane amount of respect for moms and dads who stay at home with babies and toddlers. It is mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausting. Quarantine has been even more so difficult because we were primarily stuck in the house. No swimming lessons, no libraries, no socializing, no shopping. And, just to really f*ck us over, the weather was usually rainy or 900 degrees.
So, no. I’m not going to get you paper towel. I’m going to sit here and enjoy my coffee while you address that bottle in the mug situation.